Q & A with Pastor Jim

By | August 8, 2016

I recently was posed with this situation via email: “I so badly want to have a traditional family–which includes a husband and children. Unfortunately, I’m in my late 30’s (so at this point children are probably not possible) and men aren’t interested in marriage. I understand that God sometimes tells us “no” to things we want, so I’m asking you to pray that God will make this clear to me–is this a “no” that I’m refusing to accept?”

I prayed for this person. She is seeking answers. Here’s my response:
“Your desires are absolutely normal. Do you have an intimate, personal relationship with God through Jesus? That’s the first step in knowing God’s will for your life.

It’s sometimes hard to trust God through the years of waiting when we have a desire for something… especially something like having a husband and children. I know you fear your “biological clock is ticking” but God’s plan is always best. Remember, God answers prayer three ways: yes, no, and wait. Perhaps God has some things He needs to change in you before you’re ready. Maybe God will change your heart altogether.

I don’t know the answer but I do know this. God loves you and wants what is best for you. I have been through many trials in my life. The one thing I have found true (always) is that even though I don’t understand why I have to go through some very difficult circumstances, His plan is always best. Many times I can look back after I’ve gone through a trial or bad circumstance and see where He was working the whole time. And it’s almost always in ways I would not have anticipated or expected.

I encourage you to not focus on the circumstance (not having a husband or children) and put your focus on God. When you take your eyes off your circumstances, trust Him, and focus on Him; He guides you down the best path for you. Colossians 3:2 says, “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.” Focus your life on God and His desires. He will conform your desires to His desires.

Does God want you to have a husband and children? I don’t know. But I know God will point you in the right direction when you put your complete trust in Him.”

Do you have a question you would like to have answered from a biblical perspective? Email me at jim@jimcaldwelllive.com . I may choose yours for my next blog. Any thoughts on this post? Let’s get the conversation started in the comments.

Photo by Jay Gooby

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  • Tisha Freeman

    I was in a similar situation … but I was divorced with a child (eek!). Who would want me? I felt “dirty” or “used”. What christian man would want someone that was previously married and had “baggage”. I was also in my 30’s. I prayed for years for someone to come into my life that would love me and my child … but loved God first. There were times I was down because everyone around me was getting married or having children. I just kept thinking “He’s out there, God just hasn’t introduced him to me yet”. Until then, I had to make God my marriage. But then one day … He did send that someone. I was trying to “fit” these other men into my life that God didn’t send. But man, when He did, it was a breath of fresh air. #waitonHim

    • Jim Caldwell

      Waiting on Him is always best! Thanks for sharing your story. Someone needed that today!